Behold, Thy name is Inconsistent...

My week started out great. Counted my points. Worked out like a fiend. Ate some things I shouldn't have, but tracked the points and moved on. Then I went to Boston for work, and everything went to crap. I accept full responsibility for it. I ate that sushi (which in of itself, wasn't that bad) and tempura (okay, fried food is always bad, even if it's shimp and vegetables) and salad (avocado, crab, and lobster). That was Tuesday after I finally got to Boston and needed to settle down in the room.

The next day, it was carb city for breakfast and lunch. Turkey bacon--who invented that? The texture was...interesting. The flavor was ok, but the texture. That's why I don't eat eggs, I can't get over the texture. And I for sure wouldn't survive on "Survivor" or some other show that would try and force me to eat larva or eyeballs. I wouldn't be able to get over the texture of anything like that. But I digress.

For every break, there was a snack. Berries and cream. Cheese and crackers. You name it, we had it. Did I have to eat it? No, I did not. Did I eat it? Yes, I did. Usually, I don't feel bad about it because I just hit the gym and work those calories off. But I couldn't do that in Boston. One good thing was, the food in the airport was crazy expensive, which kept me from buying any junk food while I waited for my flight (a box of Milk Duds were $3.50!!). And I left before the "Big Dinner" at the Oak Room...which would have been a wild caloric fiesta.

So, now that I am back in my hometown of Virginia Beach, did I go work out? Nope. Instead, I went to an educational dinner sponsored by a drug rep (Genentech). The food was good and open bar. I will go to Turbo Kick tomorrow night. But a baby shower prevents me from going to Body Combat on Saturday. I think I work on Sunday, so no Combat on Sunday. I am scared to step on that scale Saturday--my weigh in day. But I will.

So is there a theme to this story? Yeah, there is. I've been overweight for a long time. I know exactly what I should do to lose weight. Plus, I'm a nurse and I know how being fat ages me and increases my risk factors for all kinds of health problems. Yes, I make poor choices when it comes to food. Yes, sometimes I am just plain weak and lazy. It's easier to eat something I know I shouldn't sometimes, rather than go and find something healthier to eat. Especially when the food tastes so good. It's just that I can't say no sometimes--especially when the food is free. But let the food be overpriced and if I have to pay for it...you know the rest.

Writing this and posting it to the universe for everyone to read is incredibly therapeutic. Even if I am the only one who reads it. I admire the ladies that put their weight right on their blog. Ugh. I've been conditioned to be ashamed of my weight. I weigh more than my husband who is 6 ft tall--six inches taller than I am. I don't like to take pictures of myself unless it's head and shoulders (not the shampoo).

Read a book this weekend by Jennifer Weiner called Good in Bed. Very uplifting. Inspiring. I aspire to be like the main character, so confident and secure in her own skin. But she's only a size 16...and is like, 5'11". If you stretched my body six inches, I bet I would be a size 16. But I'll keep trying and working on it. On myself.